Finally, a night where I got a some what good nights sleep! It seems like it has been weeks since I felt like I got some good zzzz’s. My 17 month old baby has been teething and getting over an ear infection and so every night has been waking up around one and again at four. I felt like he was an infant again! He has been getting eight teeth for almost six months. Yes, six months! Six of them have broken through in the last few weeks and two more are just about there. His gums are extremely swollen and I know he is miserable, so when he let me sleep until 3AM this morning my heart was overjoyed! I actually slept for four hours straight for the first time in a long time. However, he did not want to go back to sleep so I spent the next hour and fifteen minutes coaxing him to lay next to me in bed and watch cartoons. It was rather painful for me to not be able to go back to sleep, but once we both returned to slumberland it was almost another two hours of great sleep before my alarm hurdled me back into reality.
As I look at my baby I know it is all worth it. The sleepless nights, the crying, the whining are all worth it. My kids are everything to me and I would do anything for them.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Overcoming Fears
Remember the days of being young, stupid and supposedly indestructible? Once upon a time I used to believe I was invincible. I used to never worry about what might happen to me. I could not even imagine myself not being in this world or having something bad happen to me. I lived my life as if nothing or nobody could touch me. Well, then reality hit me and I suddenly realized I COULD actually die any moment or something bad COULD happen to me. It was really an eye opener to me and I spent a couple of years after this realization living in constant fear.
My ex-husband passed away five years ago. This was the moment I realized I was not invincible. Although I had lived in fear during my marriage to him, I never really believed anything would happen to me or my kids. Bad things only happen in the movies, right? Well, then he died and I was left to pick up the pieces with my two children. I realized if I died my kids would be orphans. Although I had remarried and I knew my husband would take on the responsibility of my children, it frightened me to no end to think my kids could lose the most important person in the world to them. And then what? The two people who loved and cherished them the most would be gone and the thought of that drove me up the wall. I was constantly fearful of dying and leaving them alone.
My ex-husband passed away five years ago. This was the moment I realized I was not invincible. Although I had lived in fear during my marriage to him, I never really believed anything would happen to me or my kids. Bad things only happen in the movies, right? Well, then he died and I was left to pick up the pieces with my two children. I realized if I died my kids would be orphans. Although I had remarried and I knew my husband would take on the responsibility of my children, it frightened me to no end to think my kids could lose the most important person in the world to them. And then what? The two people who loved and cherished them the most would be gone and the thought of that drove me up the wall. I was constantly fearful of dying and leaving them alone.
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