Flying With the Angels - Chapter One

It has been over a week since I posted anything on this blog... I have been working on a short story for a while and I wanted to get it ready to post!  Just an FYI... this is a bit of a sad, spiritual and emotional story.  If anyone is dealing with death of someone close or is dealing with any form of cancer with themselves, family or anyone close to them I would suggest NOT reading this, unless you feel it something you can handle.

 I was inspired to write this by a nature scenery I saw and by a song I love.  I will post the song at the end of the entire story, which will have three chapters.  I love to write and most of my writings are completely fictional and do not come from actual events in my life or anyone's life close to me.  Please be kind in any criticisms you might have towards my story.  After all... that is all it is, a story.

FLYING WITH THE ANGELS - CHAPTER ONE

“Mom, it looks like heaven,” Traci exclaimed staring out of the window.

I glanced over to where she was looking and noticed the clouds with the sun blazing through the center.  It was beautiful and mesmerizing.

“It does look like heaven,” I replied.  “You have such a great eye for beautiful moments!”

Traci continued to stare at the clouds and the sun as they slowly changed formation.  She was such a special kid.  Life was so exciting and full with her in it.  She lived in the moment and to her there was never a dull moment in life. 

Funny since I never taught her that, she just came that way.  She was my teacher, instead of the other way around. 

A tear escaped on of my eyes as I looked back to the road ahead.  Jack reached over from the drivers seat and squeezed my hand instinctively.  I quickly looked over at him and we shared a knowing glance.  Pain was in his eyes and I am sure it was just as noticeable in mine. 

We were on our way back to the hospital to admit Traci.  The leukemia had metastasized through her body and the doctors were skeptical on whether or not they could stop it this time. 

My mind wandered back to the moment when it all came crashing down on our hearts.

“Mr. and Mrs. Layton, the leukemia is definitely back.  Unfortunately, it has spread every where and is already in the later stages.  We will have to admit her into the hospital today.  We are not sure what her chances are, but we can do some more tests and start on the chemotherapy immediately.  Go home, get what you need and return to the hospital quickly.”

The doctor had been sincerely upset and had wanted us to be to the hospital within the next couple of hours.  He had explained her chances as being slim, but they would never know until all the tests were complete and the chemotherapy was started.  He had told them if the chemo did not work she would probably be more miserable in her last days, but if it did then at least there was hope.  Hope was all we needed.

My baby girl, as my mind made its way back to the present.  The thought of life without her caused my heart to break into a million pieces.  My heart was aching, shattering and they were discussing her last days with us.  It was unbearable.

“Mommy,” Traci quietly said, breaking into my frightful thoughts, “when I die, will I get to fly with the angels?”

I caught a sob in my throat as I quickly looked away.  How was I supposed to answer that?  The pain was so intense and blinding.  I felt frightened, lost and angry all at once. 

After a few moments I some how pulled myself together.  As I looked back at Traci, I noticed tears streaming down Jack’s face.  I almost had to look away again.

“Baby, we are going to fight this.  You are going to get better and live a long healthy life here on Earth.  Some day when you are old and gray, you will get your chance to fly with the angels,” I replied, shaking from the pain in my heart, not sure if I was convincing her or myself.

“Mommy it’s okay,” Traci calmly said.  “I will be okay.  I can watch over you guys, just like grandma does.”

Traci reached forward and touched Jack’s arm.

“Daddy, I’m okay, you know that right?” She asked. 

She was so wise for being only seven.  She was definitely an old soul.  She was a angel sent to Jack and I to remind us who we are, not the other way around.

“Yes, sweetie, I know you are okay,” Jack slowly responded.  “Mom and I just want you to be happy and live a long life.”

“I am happy, dad!  So very happy!  I feel so loved and warm right now.  I know everything will be okay for all of us, no matter what happens.”

All this coming from a seven year old.  She was always speaking wiser than a seven year old should.  Here she was the one dying and she was comforting us.  The tears were uncontrollable at this point.  I could not stop them as I stared at her in amazement.  My beautiful, sweet, wise baby girl was leaving me.  She knew this and as much as I wanted to deny it I realized she was okay with it.

“Daddy,” Traci exclaimed excitedly, “can we stop and run through those flowers?  They are so beautiful.”

Jack and I both glanced at the large field of wild flowers.  They were beautiful yellows, oranges and reds, just like the sunrise.  Jack immediately pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car.

“Anything you want, baby,” Jack said.  “It is your day.”

We slowly got out of the car and Jack went to Traci’s door, opened it and picked her up. 

She had not been feeling well lately, a big reason we had gone to the doctor.  This was her third round with cancer and the second time with leukemia.  When she was first diagnosed with a brain tumor three years ago we had thought our lives had ended.  However, she survived and the cancer had gone into remission. 

Less than a year later she had started getting nose bleeds and high fevers.  She was then diagnosed with leukemia, most likely caused by the chemotherapy from the brain tumor.  We had been horrified and angry, but once again she had survived and the cancer was in remission. 

Now it had been nearly two years and this time it had spread so quickly even the doctors were discouraged. 

As I looked at my frail baby girl, I wanted to give her my life.  I wanted to touch her and demand all my body’s energy and light be given to her.  She deserved to live.  She was so wonderful and kind and had the spirit of a sweet angel.  I looked at her beautiful, pale face as she laid her head on Jack’s shoulder and I wanted to scream.  She was so pale and ash colored. 

At that moment, she smiled at me.

"I love you, mom,” she said and then closed her eyes.

“I love you forever and ever baby,” I replied.

We quietly walked through the flowers and after a few moments Traci opened her eyes and looked around.

“I want to run through them,” she said looking at Jack and then at me.

“Traci, you are so weak.  I’m not sure it is a good idea.”

“Mom, I’m alive right now.  Can’t I live while I am still living?” she wisely replied.  Once again she was the teacher and I was the student.

“Okay, sweetie.  But take it easy.  We will be right here with you, every step of the way,” Jack said as he slowly lowered her to the ground.

As the flowers grazed Traci’s body, she smiled and her whole face lit up.  Some of the color in her face was coming back and her cheeks became slightly rose colored.  It was a wonderful sight. 

She stood in the midst of these tall wild flower and stretched her hands out to feel them as she closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sun.  It was magical.  The sun shone on her face and made her look like she was shining. 

By this time the tears were flowing down my face.

I bent down to Traci’s ear and grabbed her little hand in mine and through the tears I quietly whispered, “Let’s run.”

Traci’s eyes danced open, smiling from ear to ear.  She reached over to Jack and together we ran through the field feeling the wind on our faces and enjoying the small moments of joy.

TO BE CONTINUED...

What do you think so far?  Any suggestions on wording, dialect or the whole first chapter in general?  Any constructive criticism is more than welcome!  Thanks for reading and I will post the next chapter in the next day or two.