Flying With the Angels - Chapter Three

When we pulled into our driveway, my dad was already there.  The tears were endless as I saw his face. 

His face was filled with turmoil and the tears were glistening on his cheeks.  After we stopped, I took off both mine and Traci’s seat belts and pulled her out of the car with me.  I was not going to let her go.  I was not ready for anyone to take her from me.  I looked at my dad and my emotions were so great, I just fell into his arms with Traci still in mine.  He hugged us both tightly and together we cried. 

The whole time Traci held onto both of us.  At that moment, I knew my mom must have explained how we would be okay and that it was her time to continue on.  If Traci had seen this kind of display of emotion before she would have insisted she do the chemotherapy. 

She was so quiet and peaceful right now and for a moment I felt very angry with my mom.  The feeling passed quickly and all of a sudden I felt peaceful again, the way I had felt after we had ran through the flowers.  I pulled away from my dad and looked at Traci.  She smiled at me.

“You feel it too, don’t you?”  she asked me, “It’s grandma.  She’s here and wants me to tell you she loves you and she knows you will be okay.”

My dad and I immediately looked around, expecting to see my mom standing there.  Of course we did not see anything, but I felt so much peace.  I knew she was there and it looked like my dad was feeling it too. 

He pulled Traci out of my arms and together we walked into the house where Jack was on the telephone with his sister.  He got off the telephone just then and looked at the three of us.  It was hard to believe this was the end. 

We had tried so hard to get pregnant with Traci.  Afterwards, the doctors told us I would be unable to have other children.  We had felt very blessed to at least have her and now she was leaving us. 

Jack came over to us and put his arms around me and we embraced each other, while my dad carried Traci into the family room.  We held each other for a few minutes and as we separated, Jack’s parents walked into the house from the garage door.  Both of them were crying and their eyes and faces were red.

Jack pointed into the family room and both of them hurried in to see their little angel.

“Who else is coming?” I asked Jack, looking up into his dark brown eyes.

“Your dad said he would call your brother and sisters, so I am not sure.  But my sister is on her way.  She should be here in a few minutes.”

Jack’s sister was only eighteen and loved Traci like a sister.  She was constantly at our house hanging out with Traci and playing games with her.  They were the best of buddies and I knew this would be just as devastating to her as it was to us. 

My brother and two sisters all had families of their own, but they loved Traci just as much.  Traci’s best friend in the world was her cousin Lacy.  She was my sisters daughter and I hope she had thought to bring her as well.  It would be hard for Lacy but at least she would get to say her good-byes.

At that moment Melanie, Jack’s sister, came tearing into the house.  She barely glanced at us as she veered past us and ran straight into the family room where she grabbed Traci and hugged her tight. 

Melanie was crying and shaking and I knew it would take her a while to relax long enough for anyone else to get near Traci. 

Moments later both my sisters and their husbands, along with Lacy walked into our house.  Lacy looked frightened and she was crying as well.  I knelt down to Lacy and pulled her into my arms.

“Traci is going to be so happy to see you,” I told her. “Don’t ever forget she loves you so much and she knows you are going to miss her.  Go give her hug and spend some time with her.”

Lacy nodded and cautiously walked into the family room.  Melanie was still holding onto Traci, but Traci saw Lacy and softly whispered something into Melanie’s ear.  Whatever it was made Melanie slowly unravel her arms from Traci. 

They both looked at Lacy and then Traci walked over to her and grabbed her hand.  They walked over to the couch and whispered quietly together as they sat there holding each others hands.  It was a beautiful and sweet sight.

Within the next twenty minutes everyone had arrived.  We all sat in the family room talking quietly to one another.  There were tears and soft laughter and as the next hour flew by us, a peace seemed to enter each of our souls. 

Traci looked peaceful and happy.  

However, her body was weak and her skin was very pale.  The more of her life that drained from her body, the more peaceful she looked.  She kept smiling at Jack and I and after a while she came over and climbed on Jack’s lap.  She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. 

Panic entered my heart for a moment and then she opened her eyes.   She sat up and looked at her big family.  It seemed to make her happy to see so many people love her so much.  She laid her head down and looked at me.

"I am so tired, mom.  I would like to go lay down in my bed.”

“Absolutely, sweetie.  Dad and I can take you there.  Do you want to say good-bye to everyone now or do you want them to wait?”

“I want them to wait for a few minutes.  Can I have them come into my room in a little bit?” she softly asked.

“Yes, baby, that is just fine.  Let’s go.”

As we walked out of the room, I turned around and asked them to wait for a bit.  As we left the room I heard Lacy and Melanie both start crying again.  They knew it was getting close. 

How does a family stay strong when they are losing someone? 

I looked at Traci again and I knew she was too weak to really feel any of our sadness.  Her face was content as she laid on Jack’s shoulder.

When we reached Traci’s bedroom I walked over to her bed and pulled her comforter and blankets down so Jack could lay her on the bed.  She immediately snuggled into her pillows and I pulled her blankets back over her.  She looked at us and smiled again. 

She was complete.  She did not need to be here any more.  I could literally feel her spirit pulling away from our world.  She was hanging just to suffice our need to have closure.

“Dad, mom, I love you both so much,” Traci said. “I promise life will not be sad for long.  Grandma told me you will find happiness in one another and that you will have miracles brought into your life.  Please do not forget me.  I will always be watching over you and I will make sure you are safe.  Just like grandma has been doing for us.”

She got quiet and I reached over and touched her face.  She was so frail and beautiful.  I would miss seeing her face every day.  I would miss her laughter and her sweet smile.  She was my angel in life and would be my angel in death.

“I love you, sweetie.  I love you to the moon and back in a crooked line,” I quietly whispered to her.

She smiled and nodded.  She looked over at Jack and he grabbed her hand and kissed it.  He then stood up and leaned over her and kissed her on the forehead.

“You will always be my princess,” he told her softly.

“I know daddy.

He straightened up and walked out of the room, only to appear a few minutes later with Lacy and her parents.  Lacy ran over to Traci and gave her a huge hug.  She whispered something in her ear that I could not quite hear, but it sounded like, I’m going to miss you.

Traci was quiet for a minute and then she said, “I love you Lacy.”

“I love you too.”

Then Lacy walked back to her parents.  My sister and her husband came over and both kissed her forehead and told her that they loved her.  Then they left and the next family member came in.  Before I knew it they had all said their good-byes and Jack and I were alone with her again.  She had a sweet smile on her face and it seemed like she was sleeping, but after a few minutes she opened her eyes suddenly and looked past us over at the door.

“Grandma, you are here!  I am ready now and mom and dad are okay,” Traci said to thin air.

Both Jack and looked over at the door and then back at Traci.  I wanted to say I was not okay.  I wanted my mom to go away.  I did not feel ready.  Why was Traci saying I was ready?

“I am ready mom,” Traci said, looking at me and then turned to Jack. “Dad take care of mom.  I love you both.”

I pulled myself into her bed next to her and wrapped my arms around her little body and quietly said, “Go fly with those angels baby, they are waiting for you.”

She smiled so happily then and slowly her eyes closed.  I could feel the life leave her body and I knew the moment she was gone. 

I laid there holding her lifeless body for several minutes before the tears began again.  Jack and I sat there holding hands and the body of our baby and silently cried.  It was a different cry, one of sadness, but also of peace.  We both knew she was now free of pain and free of her weak body. 

She was flying with the angels and was exactly where she wanted to be.

Over the next few weeks Jack and I dealt with not having Traci around us.  We found peace in each others company and constantly talked about her life and the joy she brought into our lives.  Other family members and friends stopped by to see how we were doing and made sure we did not need anything.  We were well taken care of and although we did not want to accept it, life continued on even without Traci in it. 

However, after many days of sickness and wondering why I could not get over this flu we got a miracle far beyond our imagination.  I was nearly four months pregnant.  So, life did continue on and as Traci had told us, we had received our next miracle.

THE END

I will post the song that inspired me to write this story on a post tonight or tomorrow.  I hope you all enjoyed my short story.  Please let me know what you think, it means a lot to me to hear your feedback!