Putting Down the Toilet Seat

I have a 13 year old son.

I was never a 13 year old boy, but I was a 13 year old girl.  To this day, I do not get the mind of a 13 year old boy.

Raising teenagers is by far more difficult then raising toddlers.  Sure, toddlers ransack the house and throw tantrums and find every excuse why they should not go to bed.

Teenagers want a thing called independence.

They really do know everything.

BUT they still want their parents to buy everything.

And they want to live at home, sleep until noon and leave their dirty dishes in the sink for mom to clean up.

Oh right AND they prefer mom to do their laundry as well.

And make them dinner.

But they want their independence.  Just as long as mom is still their to take care of all their needs they haven't yet figured out to meet themselves.

Hmmmmm...

I had this amazing talk to with my 13 year old son the other day.  We have had it before, but this time it was different.

He now has a girlfriend.

He is super grumpy in the mornings and he can have a horrible attitude about everything I ask him to do.  I finally had it.

I sat him down and told him one day he would be married or have a domestic partner and if he ever spoke to her the way he spoke to me and his sister, I would drag him by his full grown adult ear and make him apologize to his lady.

I am not raising an ungrateful, disrespectful boy. 

I expect him to grow up to be a gentleman. 

I expect him to treat his lady like a queen.

I expect him to open the door for her.

I expect him to love her the way she wants to be loved.

I expect him to see her as the angel she is and love her as such.

I expect him to be faithful to her and to always be honest.

And yes, I expect him to put the toilet seat down for her.

I know, silly, right?

Or maybe not.  You know how awkward it is to sit down on the toilet, in the middle of the night and fall in because some man/boy did not put the seat down?  Yeah, not funny.

This time while talking to him about how to treat a woman, I saw a light bulb flicker on.  I think it is because he could actually put a person in those images and it made sense to him. 

I hope as he gets older, these things will make even more sense. 

I want the best for him.  I want him to be in love.

I want her to stay with him, even after they tie the knot.

I have been married twice.

Both of them said the same thing and this is something my son will not be raised to believe.

"I already got ya, so why do I need to keep trying."

So they stopped "trying".  One was a drug addict and is now passed away.

He was my 13 year old sons dad.

His step-dad was the other one and we are now divorced.

I am not saying this is the reason I divorced these men, but I will say, their lack of showing me continued love and support did not help our marriages.

Now the man I am with is nothing like this.  He continues to court me, even though he has me.  He continues to show me love, the way I want to be loved, even though he has me.

This is how I want my sons to be raised and this is the kind of man I want my daughter to compare every guy she dates to.

My kids deserve the best.

Sure they may know everything now.

But someday they will know even more.