Finding meaning in Life

Finally, a night where I got a some what good nights sleep!  It seems like it has been weeks since I felt like I got some good zzzz’s.  My 17 month old baby has been teething and getting over an ear infection and so every night has been waking up around one and again at four.  I felt like he was an infant again!  He has been getting eight teeth for almost six months.  Yes, six months!  Six of them have broken through in the last few weeks and two more are just about there.  His gums are extremely swollen and I know he is miserable, so when he let me sleep until 3AM this morning my heart was overjoyed!  I actually slept for four hours straight for the first time in a long time.  However, he did not want to go back to sleep so I spent the next hour and fifteen minutes coaxing him to lay next to me in bed and watch cartoons.  It was rather painful for me to not be able to go back to sleep, but once we both returned to slumberland it was almost another two hours of great sleep before my alarm hurdled me back into reality.

As I look at my baby I know it is all worth it.  The sleepless nights, the crying, the whining are all worth it.  My kids are everything to me and I would do anything for them.

I look back on my life and I realize all the events that have happened have led me up to the place I am today, so I am grateful for those events.  I love my life!  I have my husband, great kids, the gospel of Jesus Christ intertwined in all areas of my life and the knowledge of what is to come after this life.  At times I forget these are the most important things in life and the chaos of the world interrupts my walk on the straight and narrow.  I have felt that several times over the past few weeks, mostly because of my husbands ex-wife.  I would never spew my frustrations about her on the internet, but I have come to realize she is insecure and jealous and it causes her to make negative choices.  I have to let it go and allow myself to love her despite her issues.  Easy to say... hard to do.  Definitely a work in process.

I have been writing a book for the past month, maybe a little bit longer.  I am really excited about it and I feel like it will be a great book.  I have been researching publishing and getting an agent and I realize now how HARD it really is to get a book published.  It was a bit disheartening and maybe even a bit discouraging when I saw the chances to have my book published.  It took me a few hours to pull myself out of a pity party!  But I came to the conclusion, I am writing this book not because of the end result, but because of the journey.  It is truly satisfying for me to sit and let my imagination roll out onto the keyboard.  If it does not end out as a number one seller I will be okay.  However, #1 seller is my goal.  I am going to enjoy the journey and not get discouraged by the odds of publication.  I am going to rely on my Heavenly Father and know with Him anything is possible.  Until then the journey is all I have!

My life is full of busy days and sleepless nights, but I have a great life.  I have goals and I have meaning.  I know what I am doing right now is what I am supposed to be doing and that makes my life satisfying.  I will continue to keep my eyes on God and His teachings.  I have so much to give to this world and I hope by writing on my blog I will be able to reach those who are searching for truth and meaning in their life.  Until next time... Namaste!