Celebrate You!

Have you ever felt not good enough or below others in certain areas of life or in life in its entirety? I know I have. It took me a long time to value myself and see the person inside me, who is beautiful, strong and inspirational. I used to be scared of any attention placed upon me and to this day I still get a little anxious if it happens, but now I KNOW who I am. I know I am just as important and valuable as the next person and this knowledge has completely changed my life. Do you really think I would write on a blog and pour my heart and soul out on the internet for everyone to see if I felt I held no value? I really do not think I would be brave enough and some times I still question myself when pondering the next thing I want to write about. Some times I worry what others will think and if they will think what I write is ridiculous or stupid. But then I yank myself back to reality and realize, it does not matter. It does not matter what anyone thinks of me. Their opinions are their own and whether they are positive or negative is none of my business.

So, I was sitting in Relief Society meeting today at church and when I saw what our group got to read about, I was a bit excited and anxious to read it. For years I have wondered what was so amazing about a blessing that was given to me at fourteen years old. I am not going to reveal much, but in this blessing the patriarch said my greatest gift is the gift of faith. My mom was ecstatic. She could not stop talking about it on the way home and I remember NOT understanding why she was so excited. Over the years I have slowly began to get the power of faith and how many people do not have that gift, which to me was surprising. However, I still did not understand why my mom was so happy about it. I guess I could have asked her, but I never really thought I should until after she passed away. Today I finally got it. I had a powerful ah-ha moment and I finally realized how powerful this gift really was. Now let me tell you, I had a horrible nights sleep and then my baby thought 5:30 in the morning was a great time to wake up and play. I was not happy. I tried to get him to go back to sleep, but by 6:15 I knew it was impossible. By the time my daughter woke up at 7:30 I was talking myself out of going to church all together, which began at nine. I fell asleep on the couch while my daughter watched the stinker and I did not wake up until about 8:45. I was still thinking we were not going to make it church... but then out of the blue I got this overwhelming feeling we HAD to go. I knew we would be late, but as long as we made it to the last two classes, that was all that mattered at the moment. I put my baby down for a nap and then I quickly took my shower and got ready, all along pushing my kids along to get ready as well. I still did not want to go, but I knew it was more important then ever to go. I have come to realize, when you do not want to go to a meeting or event, including church, that is when it is the most important to go. So... as we were discussing the different spiritual gifts in Relief Society I realized all of them were more profound with the gift of faith. The gift of faith was the last one we spoke about and every other gift tied back in with the gift of faith. Now, I knew why the gift of faith is so powerful and why my mom was so excited the day I received my blessing. I realized at that moment I get to celebrate this part of me. I get to use this gift to better myself and others around me. Before I thought it was just a very personal gift and it would not do anyone else any good (that is why I never thought it was an exceptional gift), but now I know how wonderful it really is and the good I can actually do with it. I have never thought I was exceptional, even though I KNOW I am a daughter of God, which makes me pretty darn great! Just like everyone else I have looked up to and thought I could never match up to who they are, I finally realized I am just as good as all of them. Church today was an amazing time for me and now I know why Satan was doing all he can to convince me NOT to go. He lost this battle and once again I have proven, I am stronger than him. Some times he tricks me into thinking I am not, but hey, I am here and he is not, which should be evidence enough of who has more spiritual strength.

Okay... this afternoon my daughter and I were watching “What Not to Wear” on TLC and as I was listening to this woman repeat one after another negative words about herself and I wanted to cry. Here was this beautiful woman who could only see ugly, fat and someone who was not as good as others. Here was a person who used similar words on herself like I use to use on myself. I wanted to jump into the TV and give her a huge hug and tell her she is beautiful and she is wonderful and she deserves to see herself as such. I have to commend Stacey and Clinton (the shows hosts) in how they eventually break through the negative talk and show these women how beautiful they really are.

I paused the show for a moment and talked to my daughter for a bit. I wanted her to know she is beautiful and no matter what others tell her, they are the ones who are wrong. Usually when someone makes fun of another for one of their flaws, it is because they fear the same in themselves. They worry they are not pretty or smart enough or good enough and therefore they pick on others because of those fears. I was bullied when I was in elementary school. A couple of my friends and I were picked on almost every day in the play ground by two other girls. They always called us mean names and made fun of our flaws and found any thing they could to make us feel beneath them. Luckily it only lasted a couple of years and once we were in Junior High those girls either got their own self-esteem boost or they found other girls to pick on. But those taunting and hurtful words stuck with me for many years and because of that I really believe I lost sight of my self-worth. I want my daughter to always know, NO MATTER WHAT, she is exceptional, beautiful and amazing! No one can take this away from her and I always want her to celebrate herself as the spirit child of God she is. She is powerful, she is strong and no one is better than her.

Celebrate yourself today. Celebrate yourself always and know the simple truth, you are special and you are exceptional and you are just as good as everyone else. Tell your kids how wonderful they are and remind them daily. Especially those teenagers! Regardless how much they think their parents are stupid, they remember when their parents compliment them. They remember more then parents realize, at least I did. Thanks for everyone who reads my ramblings and comments either on my blog, facebook, email or in person. I really do appreciate the support! Love and light to all of you!