Parenting... what's the right way to be?

Hahaha!  If you thought I was going to have the answer to that question you have come to the wrong place!  I am not the perfect parent, nor do I claim to have the answers on how to be a parent without mistakes.  I'm really writing this in defense to the parents who are shunned and scolded because they DON'T do things the way others would have them do. 

I have my shortcomings, one of them being impatient.  Yes, I am impatient.  I work on it every day.  I count to ten, I bite my lip, I walk out of the room, I do everything I can think of to be more patient, especially to the ones I love.  However, I am not as successful as I would like.  God gave me children who test my patience EVERY SINGLE DAY!  Some days I can give them a quiet response, other days I yell.  Some days I count to ten when the kids are picking on each other and other days I tell them to go to their rooms with the frustrated yell of an impatient mom.  I am not perfect when it comes to parenting.  I work on it every day. 

So... there are parents out there who DO think they are perfect parents.  They believe they DO know what is best for their kids and for everyone elses kids.  Those are the parents I would rather NEVER be around.  I especially LOVE it when a brand new parent thinks they know everything about raising kids because they have had a kid for two minutes!  Or the people who have never had kids and they say, "How dare they do that" when they see a parent scold or spank their child in public.  Or when a parent walks right over a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the store.  Or when a parent decides they think a child leash is best for their wandering child.  It amazes me how many JUDGEMENTS people spew out for everyone elses decisions for their own children.  Don't get me wrong... everyone has the right to decide what they will or will not do with their kids, but who gives them to right to tell me or anyone else how we should raise ours. 

I know not everyone is going to agree with me and that is okay.  The world would be pretty boring if we all had the same opinions.  So here is my complete opinion on raising children...

Parents should raise their children the best they know how.  Use your instincts.  I believe in intuition and I know parents have an ability to know what is best for their kids.  Let kids be kids.  Let them enjoy their innocence and allow them to freely express themselves.  Be honest with them and teach them necessary steps of life when you feel it is time.  When my daughter was nine she asked me about the birds and the bees.  I told her... I didn't go into details, but I told her the basics.  As she has gotten older I have filled in gaps that she has become more curious about.  Don't let anyone tell you when they believe it is best for a kid to hear things like that.  YOU decide and use YOUR best judgement.  After all, they are your kids and your responsibility. 

My mom burned my finger when I was about seven.  She cried the whole time.  And it was a lesson I will never forget.  Do you know why she burned my finger?  Because I had played with matches and I had nearly burned down the whole field across the street from our house.  Did I ever play with matches again?  No.  Some times I think I have done my kids an injustice by NOT being as harsh to them as my parents were on me.  I got spanked, slapped a few times, had my mouth washed out with soap, weeded the garden for hours on a Saturday instead of playing, and I got my finger burned.  My time out was not sitting on a chair or the toilet, it was weeding the yard, cleaning out the garage, scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush or cleaning out the barn.  My parents taught me that there were consequences for my actions.  I didn't just get to sit and think about it, I got to work my tail off AND think about it!  Imagine that!  Giving children consequences.  Maybe if we used consequences more kids these days would not feel so entitled. 

My parents also rewarded me.  Every time I read three chapter books my mom would take me out for ice cream!  I LOVED it!  And I gained a love for reading.  Maybe I should take myself out for ice cream!  HAHA!  I got rewarded for good grades, I got rewarded for cleaning the house, etc. etc. etc.  My parents were NOT perfect, but they did the best they could and for that I am grateful.  I could be mad at them for their mistakes or I could realize we are all human and as long as my parents were not abusing me then how they raised me worked out just fine! 

So here's the run down...  Don't judge others (unless they are abusing and/or neglecting their kids, then by all means judge away), love your kids, let them be innocent, teach them there are consequences AND rewards, do not enable them by doing everything for them and teach them the value of hard work.  I hope this is some good information for someone out there.  I really just want others to know that it is okay, it is okay to be human and to know we are not perfect parents.  Just do the best you know how to and don't worry about what others think or say.  They aren't any better at it then you are and the ones that say they are, well... they live in a dream world. 

Peace and light to all!  Good night!